


i crawl home to you

by squash1



Category: Dreamer Trilogy - Maggie Stiefvater, Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Call Down the Hawk, Emotional Sex, M/M, Missing Scene, POV Ronan Lynch, Porn with Feelings, cdth spoilers (barely though), i mean it's pynch so of course there are plenty of feelings, sooo many feelings, this is so soppy i'm so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 13:43:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20154550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squash1/pseuds/squash1
Summary: “Eager, are we?”Adam grins up at him, stalking closer like a tiger towards its prey.“Aren’t you?” he asks, eyes turning downwards and ghosting over Ronan’s lips. Ronan darts his tongue out, licks the corner of his own mouth. The air between them is sweet and wet, damp with their mingling breaths.(aka the missing scene between Chapter 7 and Chapter 8 of Call Down The Hawk)





	i crawl home to you

**Author's Note:**

> ***slight spoilers for cdth ahead***
> 
> hi y'all. i'm so nervous about posting this since i've never written something both super emotional and explicit before, and i really wanna do ronan and adam justice. this took me like an entire day to write and then i had it sitting in my drafts for a month and a half. i've been editing it over the past 2-3 days and i think i've finally gotten it to a stage where i want to share it with you all.
> 
> all of that being said, i'd love some constructive feedback on this. i'm not a big smut writer so this feels a bit weird to me, both writing and sharing it. but i really wanted to write something intense and emotional and intimate, kind of like one of my vignettes but steamier (and much longer... yikes). anyway, if you're read this far in the author's note, hi. i love you. thanks for not being super horny on main and jumping straight (as if) to the saucy part.
> 
> okay that's it for now. until next time :') x

Ronan feels wild and wants everything at once, all of Adam in its entirety, wants to feel him and taste him and elicit the sweetest sounds from him. It’s only been a couple of weeks since they last saw each other, but it wasn’t quite like this then. It was brighter and more cramped and quicker than Ronan would have liked; although the thrill of Adam on him in the car was almost too exhilarating, the danger of getting caught hitching both of their breaths and raising their desperate heartbeats.

Now, it’s different. It’s still as passionate, but less frantic. _Deeper_.

Less push-and-pull, and more scraping-at-the-insides. Coaxing, beckoning, forces of nature colliding.

Earlier, Adam had lead him into the dorm room, graciously empty by request, and had pushed Ronan up against the door as a manner of closing it. They kissed for several minutes, fought for an equal amount of time.

Now, Adam is pushing him up against the door again. The impact causes a huffed breath to escape Ronan’s lungs, but he covers it up with a deep, throaty laugh.

“Eager, are we?”

Adam grins up at him, stalking closer like a tiger towards its prey.

“Aren’t you?” he asks, eyes turning downwards and ghosting over Ronan’s lips. Ronan darts his tongue out, licks the corner of his own mouth. The air between them is sweet and wet, damp with their mingling breaths.

The campus outside is alive with commotion, students are yelling and laughing and chatting below them. Inside the dorm room, it’s only Ronan and Adam in the semi-darkness, only Ronan and Adam in the entire universe.

The heat inside Ronan is stifling.

He can’t help it. He gives in, he just has to. With one swift movement, he grabs onto Adam’s hips and pulls him closer, grinding against him as he draws him into a kiss.

Adam’s arms come to circle Ronan’s shoulders, pulling him down as if to lock his mouth in place against his own. The press of nimble fingers is shockingly cold against Ronan’s neck and sends a shiver down his spine. When Adam hitches his knee ever so slightly, Ronan can’t help but groan against his lips.

“Christ,” Ronan rasps, and places a kiss onto Adam’s jawline.

Adam hums, craning his neck and giving Ronan easier access. The thigh pressing into his crotch becomes more insistent and Ronan grinds down against it, chasing sweet friction with a roll of his hips. Adam’s fingers curl around the back of Ronan’s skull and he feels alight with it, goosebumps intensifying as properly trimmed nails scrape at the edge of his scalp.

This is what he has been missing so much these past two months. Two months ago, Adam had left and taken all his touches, both gingerly and gallant, with him to Massachusetts, and Ronan has been burning for him ever since. Now, that is not a difficult emotional state to reach by any means; all summer, Ronan was seething with want whenever Adam wasn’t around. But the satisfaction of this very moment, of finally, _finally_ quenching the flames, was tremendous.

Nothing compares to Adam Parrish’s hands.

Earlier, Adam’s hopefulness made Ronan’s heart soar and shake at the same time. With one simple confession, Ronan felt his fear of abandonment sigh in relief.

_Home_.

Ronan turns his head, pulls back to look at Adam, holding his gaze.

Between them, it has always been an understanding without explanation, an intrinsic empathic connection. Ronan understands very well how Adam feels. He himself felt the same way for the first three or so months of their relationship. Sometimes, things just sound too good to be true. In Ronan’s not so humble opinion, however, Adam feeling as though wanting this so badly that he fears it is fated to never happen is utter bullshit. Adam deserves the world and so much beyond that. Fate can fuck right off.

And, regardless of what the universe has planned for Adam, Ronan is prepared to force it into giving him everything he wants anyway.

“I missed you so much.”

Adam smiles and leans up for a kiss that Ronan, generous as he is, indulges him in.

Ronan lets his hands wander, too, from thumbing Adam’s hips through his dress shirt all the way around to the small of his back, pressing Adam closer into himself. He can feel the vibrato of Adam’s despair on his tongue. With a sloppy wet sound Adam chuckles slightly at, Ronan detaches himself from his elegant mouth. “Fuck.”

“Yeah?” Adam asks, not waiting for Ronan to answer before capturing his lips with his own, in a kiss much sweeter than the situation would suggest.

“Yeah,” Ronan says, pecks his lips again. Weirdly, he enjoys the smacking sounds of their lips, the sloppy wetness of their spit mingling around his mouth and the urge to wipe it away subsides before it can really reach its peak.

_Two months_.

There is no more talking required.

Their slow-burn sizzle against the dorm room door expires suddenly, and explodes into a frantic unbuttoning and unzipping. Ronan manages to undo just about two thirds of the buttons on Adam’s shirt before the bastard slips his nimble fingers beneath the waistband of Ronan’s boxers and the gears in his head grind to a halt. Where Adam’s hands made quick work of freeing Ronan’s length, they slow down considerably in the first upwards stroke, the lazy turn of his wrist painting sparks into Ronan’s vision. Ronan hears the thud of his head bumping against the door before he feels it, all of his brain cells focused primarily on one thing: The soft pressure of Adam’s fingers wrapped around him.

Ronan closes his eyes.

Adam’s thumb grazes the tip of his erection, and suddenly Ronan feels _everything_ all at once. He feels wide awake and as though he might be dreaming, icy ecstasy flashing up and down his spine and a tightness burning in his groin.

“Sweet holy fucking _shit_,” Ronan croaks, hips twitching backwards ever so slightly as Adam continues his ministrations. Hot-and-cold pleasure races through his nervous system, all the way down to his toes and into the tips of his ears.

For a second, Ronan opens his eyes and finds Adam smiling at him. His eyes slip back shut when Adam dives in and starts sucking on his neck again. Lost in the multitude of sensations, Ronan finds that he can feel the energy winding up and nearing its peak inside of him way too soon.

“Not gonna last long,” he manages between heavy breaths.

Adam pulls back from his neck and kisses him on the lips, tongue darting and demanding something Ronan is all too willing to supply.

It goes like this, for how long Ronan cannot possibly tell. It’s Adam’s right hand on his length, tugging, stroking, coaxing, and his left wandering up and down Ronan’s torso, pushing his shirt up, ghosting over his nipples and tracing his abs.

Ronan’s hands are still on Adam’s shoulders, pushed beneath the open collar and massaging aimlessly. In-between kisses, Ronan demands, “Off,” and regrets it as soon as Adam’s hands leave his skin. For a moment, Ronan fears that Adam might have taken it the wrong way, but relief settles as soon as he sees Adam’s hands tugging at the hem of his own shirt, slipping it off over his head instead of unbuttoning it the rest of the way.

“You, too,” Adam says, throwing the shirt onto his desk chair with remarkable aim. Ronan takes off his own shirt, throwing it aimlessly into a corner, too preoccupied and too turned on to care where it lands. Adam scoffs, says, “Christ,” and rolls his eyes.

Ronan burns for him.

Adam loops his arms around Ronan’s neck again and draws him into a kiss. When they part, Ronan notices his boyfriend smiling up at him in his ineffably tender way, and Ronan has to close his eyes and touch his forehead to Adam’s so as to not be overcome with emotion.

Adam kisses him again, softly this time and lingering just a little.

“I’ve missed you too, y’know.”

Something unwinds inside of Ronan. It takes the pressure off his lungs, and he sucks in a long, sharp breath. Of course, of course Adam missed him as well. Ronan wants to tell him again, wants to confess his love a hundred times over. All of it goes unsaid, however, because Adam is efficient by nature and doesn’t waste a single second of their time.

“Come on,” he says, taking the lead this time around and tugging at Ronan’s shoulders, “Sit.”

The room is dark and cramped, though the blinds are open, and the campus lights soak the dorm’s atmosphere in a soft sheen. Ronan has to duck his head to avoid hitting it on the slanted ceiling. When he sits down on Adam’s twin mattress, the bedframe creaks rather unromantically and Ronan stifles a laugh.

Once seated, he comes face to face with Adam’s crotch, where a rather obvious bulge has made itself notable. Standing between Ronan’s legs, Adam’s hand comes to rest at the back of his neck again. Ronan grabs at Adam’s hips again, hooking his fingers beneath the brown leather belt holding up his slacks. As Adam’s hand travels down his spine ever so slightly, tracing the outline of his tattoo, Ronan moves one hand to palm at Adam’s erection. He knows that even through fabric, this brings Adam enough pleasure to elicit a sweet moan from his throat.

“Jesus,” Ronan says.

He fumbles with Adam’s belt buckle, loosens the belt enough that he can easily slip the slacks down Adam’s narrow frame, underwear included. “Christ.”

Adam laughs, kicks off his shoes. “Impatient,” he rebukes, clicking his tongue mischievously and steps out of his pants.

“So what,” Ronan counters, tugs him closer. He so badly wants to fall onto his back, take Adam down with him, but Adam seems to have a different idea.

When he slips down onto his knees in front of him, Ronan feels like he might pass out. A little bit of reality bottoms out beneath him, his heart drops into the pit of his stomach. He bends forward, capturing Adam’s lips in a hungry kiss. “_Please_,” he whispers when they part.

“Already on it, asshole,” Adam says. He tugs Ronan’s jeans down his thighs and pulls them off each leg individually.

So Ronan sits, naked, with the boy he loves in front of him. Adam’s hands caress his thighs, fingernails scraping the sensitive insides, and Ronan feels his hardness twitching in excitement.

Over the past year, Ronan has had the pleasure of finding out that not only does Adam have a smart, quick-witted mouth, but also a rather ambitiously loving one. There was a point in time where Ronan could have sworn that Adam’s hands around him were all he could ever want, but over time he has come to find that there are aplenty ways Adam is willing to take him in, so many more than he could have ever dreamed of.

This is one of his favourites, though: Ronan nodding his head dumbfoundedly, staring with his mouth agape as Adam drops to his knees in front of him. And every time, Ronan revels in the tense anticipation, the cool air on his erect length, and then, finally, blissfully, that first experimental lick of Adam’s tongue against the sensitive tip. Every time they touch in such intimate ways, Ronan has to brace himself, has to mentally pinch himself to remember that this is, in fact, real.

Even now. With Adam on his knees in the darkness of his small dingy dorm room, Ronan feels waves of heat rolling through him, feels his head spinning in the foresight of what’s to come.

Adam looks up at him through pale lashes, biting his lip to supress a smile, and Ronan can’t help himself anymore. He reaches out for him, threading his fingers through Adam’s precisely cropped hair. And as if he was waiting for a queue, Adam puts his hands on him again, rubbing a lightly calloused palm over Ronan’s exposed erection before grabbing a hold of it, tugging it back and letting go, chuckling in amusement when it slaps slickly against Ronan’s abdomen.

“You’re so fucking annoying,” Ronan laughs. Before he knows it, though, Adam takes him into his hand again and jerks him lazily.

An embarrassingly loud moan escapes Ronan.

“Aww, am I?” Adam coos playfully, looking up at him with a mocking pout. Only Ronan doesn’t get a chance to reply before Adam ducks down and licks at his slit, lapping up his first taste of Ronan in Lord knows how many weeks.

(Ronan knows, though. It’s been two months and entirely too long.)

Sighing, Ronan throws his head back as Adam hums appreciatively.

“Oh, fuck,” Ronan manages as Adam’s lips wrap around him and he takes his length deeper and deeper into his mouth. The wet heat of his tongue is familiar and yet thrilling as it curls around Ronan’s shaft, sucking and caressing in earnest.

Meanwhile, Ronan props himself up on one arm whilst his other hand finds Adam’s, interlacing their fingers as Adam strokes the bit of Ronan’s cock his mouth isn’t covering with a twisting motion. It’s good, almost too good, and soon, Ronan feels that familiar pressing heat building up inside of him.

“Adam,” he says, voice barely above a whisper. Adam teasingly tongues the underside of his crown, lips coming together in a pout as he releases Ronan’s achingly hard member with a slick _pop_. Ronan is disappointed but all the same grateful for it. He wants this to last, wants to make Adam feel good before he can’t help himself and explodes surprisingly.

Adam leans back on his haunches, one hand still moving up and down Ronan’s length in slow strokes. The twist of his wrist wills Ronan’s eyes to flutter closed for a brief moment. When he opens them again, Adam is looking at him with a mild expression.

“Come here,” Ronan says, lips wrapping around the words as if they posed a question. He scoots backwards, further onto the mattress and beckons Adam towards him.

Adam complies, all but falls into Ronan’s arms.

And then he is in Ronan’s lap, straddling him, arms wrapped around his shoulders again. Ronan’s legs dangle uselessly off the edge of the bed.

They kiss for a long time, tongues lapping around each other and hips ardently grinding together. Adam is sighing, and soft moans escape him as Ronan lets his hands wander down his back until finally finding his ass. Ronan lets his hands roam from where Adam’s thighs meet the delicate flesh, drags a middle finger from Adam’s perineum through his cleft.

He asks for condoms and lube, and Adam procures both from his bedside drawer.

“Ronan,” Adam appeals, but when he says it like this it sounds like something else.

_Please_.

Honestly, who is Ronan to deny this beautiful creature any wish at all.

Adam’s breath hot on his cheek, coming in soft pants as Ronan drags his nails over his sensitive skin.

“Gimme,” Ronan says, snatching the lube from Adam’s hand and placing it next to the pillow. With expert swiftness, he flips them around so that Adam lands on his back, head on the pillow and spread thighs accommodating Ronan in-between.

Adam huffs at the impact, but his face offers nothing but a gentle smile. Ronan’s heart flutters, and for a split second he thinks he himself might cry.

He leans forward, hovers over Adam’s body for a moment, and then dives in. A moan catches in Adam’s throat and Ronan can feel the effect of it rippling through his own body, sending sparks of arousal southwards to his groin. Ronan kisses him once, twice, three times on the lips before starting his descent on Adam’s body. He grazes Adam’s elegant neck with his teeth and provokes a breathy moan when he thumbs at both of his nipples.

“You like that, huh?” Ronan asks, grinning down at Adam. His boyfriend merely nods, then gasps when Ronan rolls the rosy buds between his thumb and index fingers.

“Ronan,” Adam groans, hips bucking upwards. Ronan hisses at the pleasure of Adam’s erection rubbing up against his own.

“I got you, babe,” he assures him, intent on keeping his promise.

Ronan descends further, stopping halfway only to dip his tongue into Adam’s navel. The sweet surprised gasp is worth the slight shove Adam, exasperated, gives his shoulder.

“God, you’re such an asshole,” Adam says, laughing now.

“You love it.”

Ronan grins up at him. Adam’s eyes are closed, clearly awaiting his next move.

Ronan contemplates for a moment, then settles on hooking both hands under the backs of Adam’s knees, pressing them up and apart and exposing all of Adam.

“Beautiful,” he mutters, taking in the view in front of him before diving in.

Adam’s skin tastes exactly how Ronan remembers. The earthy, mossy scent of store-brand soap fills his nostrils as he mouths at the inner side of Adam’s thigh, just a few inches shy of his hardness. Ronan groans at the pang of pleasure the passionate familiarity sends through him, reaches down to give his own cock a few tugs to alleviate at least a bit of pressure.

He teases Adam for a couple of minutes, sucking love bites into the soft skin on Adam’s inner thighs until Adam’s moans turn into short gasps. “Ronan, _please_.”

“All right, all right,” Ronan laughs.

Adam sighs in relief as soon as Ronan’s mouth engulfs his length.

“Oh shit,” Adam pants as Ronan takes him as deep as he possibly can, swallowing around him as best as he can manage. Lifting Adam’s legs to rest on his shoulders, Ronan moves one hand to cup his balls, massaging them gently as he glides his lips up and down Adam’s cock.

“Fuck,” Adam groans when Ronan lets go of his hardness to reach for the lube. He opens the bottle with a plasticky creak.

“Okay, give me your pillow,” Ronan orders, and Adam hands it to him. He has to fold the crappy old thing in half for it to give him any sort of leverage, but when he’s done shoving it under the small of Adam’s back, he marvels at the sight in front of him. Again, unable to resist, he palms his own erection for a few beats and just looks at Adam spread out in front of him.

Then, slowly, he squeezes the bottle of lube and lets it trickle down from a height. When it lands on the sheets, Ronan curses.

“Did you just ruin my bedding?”

Ronan swears again, tries to scoop up the slick gel with his fingers. He loads his voice with as much snark as possible when he says, “Bold of you to assume you weren’t gonna have to wash it anyway.”

Adam laughs quietly. “Fair point.”

With a little more precaution, Ronan manages to squeeze out a gratuitous amount of lube. Slowly and gently probing, Ronan waits for Adam to relax around the first finger before adding another. They lie like this for a while, making out lazily as Ronan carefully fingers and prepares him for what’s to come. Adam cradles Ronan’s head, hands roaming over his buzzcut back tattoo, nails scraping ever so slightly whenever Ronan hits a particularly pleasurable angle.

“Ronan,” Adam breathes after a while, gaze filled with lust and longing.

“Ready?” Ronan asks, reaching for the still wrapped condom. Adam hums in affirmative, lifting his head slightly to press a small, sweet kiss onto his lips.

Ronan rolls on the condom, sitting back on his haunches to do so. There is a mild sound of protest from Adam when Ronan takes his hands off him for a moment, and Ronan’s chest fills with adoration and laughter.

When he enters Adam, he does it slowly but insistently, giving his boyfriend time to adjust to the feeling of his length. Ronan himself needs a second to breathe, too, eyes fluttering shut as Adam’s tight heat is almost overwhelming after their time apart. After a couple of minutes, Ronan starts with shallow thrusts. He waits for Adam to get accustomed to the in-and-out sensation before pushing further and further, right up until he is buried to the hilt inside of Adam. Ronan opens his eyes.

A knit has appeared in Adam’s brow and Ronan retreats slightly, though he doesn’t fully pull out.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Adam reassures him, “I’m fine, it’s just weird.”

“It’s been a while.”

“Yeah.”

Ronan leans down and kisses him.

“I’ve missed this.”

Adam smiles, hands trailing down Ronan’s back and pulling him marginally closer.

“Me too.”

Ronan starts thrusting again, slowly building up a rhythm.

They go on for a while, so tangled up in each other that Ronan is unsure where he begins and Adam ends. After some time, Adam starts mewling curses at him, throwing his head back into the mattress as Ronan pounds into him. “Jesus fucking _Christ_, Ronan,” he groans, steadying himself on the headboard. Truth be told, Ronan thinks this kind of dirty-mouthedness suits Adam, especially when he looks so ecstatic and unwound underneath him. The profanity uncurls something in Ronan himself, and he captures Adam in a deep kiss as he gears up for the last stretch until he inevitably explodes.

“Adam,” Ronan gasps, over and over again. “Adam, I love you.”

He is so close, the peak of his arousal flares dangerously inside of him. Adam grunts ungracefully and Ronan loves it, loves him the most when he’s raw and unfiltered.

“I love you too,” Adam answers, holding on tighlty. With a slight shifting of his own weight, Ronan manages to gain balance propped up on just one arm. When he sneaks his left hand between the two of them and grabs a hold of Adam’s leaking hardness, Adam’s breath hitches amidst a moan. Ronan jerks him just the way he knows he likes it, focusing on the tip and tugging it in short strokes.

“I’m gonna come,” Adam announces. “Oh _fuck_.”

“Yeah,” is all that Ronan manages to say in response. He, too, is close, fucking Adam hard and fast as he chases his release.

It hits Adam first. There is a long moment where he tenses up, back arching as he gasps for air. Then, Ronan feels Adam’s release shooting out over his own stomach and Ronan’s hand. Ronan takes a second to marvel at Adam’s blissed-out face, mouth agape and hair sticking out in all directions from writhing on the mattress beneath him. As he starts to slow down, Adam urges him on.

“Keep going.”

Ronan leans back, pulls Adam with him. As he kneels upright, his thrusts grow frantic and unsteady. Adam starts moving his hips to smoothen out the rhythm, meeting him with every thrust. Then, finally, finally, Ronan feels his climax shattering through him. His hips still for a moment, then shudder and spasm awkwardly as he spills his orgasm inside of Adam. A long, drawn out groan escapes his throat and he leans back down to meet Adam in a fiery kiss as he rides out the high.

When he comes back to his senses, Adam is looking up at him with a small, content smile, his hands caressing the back of Ronan’s head and neck. They kiss, lazily now.

Adam says, “I,” kiss, “love,” kiss, “you,” kiss.

Ronan smirks, hides his face in the crook of Adam’s neck, cheeks flaming with embarrassment, and says, “Idiot.”

After they clean up and lie down together, Adam is squished between Ronan and the wall, his favourite safe place. A steady arm loops itself around Ronan’s middle, pulling him closer. There is slight commotion and a tangle in the sheets before the movement against his back stills and there is a comfortable heat pressing alongside his back. Ronan vows to stay awake, just to be safe, but he is really tired.

Good tired, happy tired.

Adam mumbles a good night against the back of Ronan’s neck, his hand pressed over Ronan’s heartbeat.

There’s no harm in closing his eyes for just a minute, right?

**Author's Note:**

> no harm, right? right?????


End file.
